i posted this story up on here before, but i changed my punctuation and other mistakes. i want to be and author when i grow up. so i’m 12 years old and i want u to write a nice comment if you think it is good and i made a few errors or criticize my work harshly and tell me everything i need to fix and/or rewrite the entire thing. i can take it. its not gonna be the first time someone has criticized my work. and i still have to improve on my skills. but anyway, here’s my story. its the first chapter btw

One

May 12, 1960

“Iris!” Her mother called. “Come inside for supper!”
Iris was too busy creeping up on geese while hiding behind a bush and jumping out; scaring and forcing all the geese to flutter around the sunset sky and glide back down on to the grass.
“Linda,” her mother said “can you bring your sister in, please.”
“Surely.” Linda responded and perambulated out of the kitchen’s back door.
“What’cha doin’, Iris?” Linda yelled, walking half way down the hill.
“Chasin’ geese” she told her sister, “you should try it. It’s fun.”
“You’ve been out here for forty minutes chasing geese and getting your hair caught in twigs from the bushes and your new dress and stockings are all dirty.” Linda nagged, but Iris kept scaring the geese as new ones came and flew in with the rest of the group. Linda rolled her eyes but was smart enough to understand what her sister was going through. However, Iris didn’t look at her autism as a bad thing.
“Anyway, it’s time to eat; mom made beef stroganoff and made apple crumb cake for dessert.”
“Fine, most of the geese have flown away anyway and I am getting a little hungry.”
“Good girl!” Linda cheered as they both headed up the hill. Linda was about to her hand on the back of Iris’s shoulder, but iris roller her shoulder away as she did.

As Iris sat down at the dinner table, her younger siblings, one six and one four, scurried to their chairs and waited to be served by their mother.
“Where’s daddy?” the six year old asked.
“Daddy is working late, Wendy.” Her mother said as she served the little ones first.
As Iris tucked her napkin into the neckline of her dress, Linda looked at her and motioned to her hair; trying to tell Iris that there was a small twig in her hair. Iris quickly pulled the twig out and tossed it to the floor beside her.
“So how was everybody’s day?” their mother asked as she sat back in her seat.
“Good.” Iris answered with a mouth full.
“That’s not very lady-like.” Her mother told her.
Iris continued munching down the stroganoff. Her mother took a clip out of her hair and pulled Iris’s hair back with it.
“We are cutting that hair of yours tomorrow, Iris.” Her mother commanded.
Iris pictured the scissors as two sharp blades, which they were, but imagined them as a weapon that was “out to get her”.
“No!” she responded. “I don’t want that thing near my head.”
“Don’t think about it too bad, Iris” Linda said to her, “Just close your eyes the whole time and I’ll talk to you while she snips your hair.”
“I said no!” Iris exclaimed.
“Lets move to another subject.” Their mother suggested, “What did you learn at school today, Wendy?”
“The same thing I learned yesterday.” Wendy said as she reached for her glass of juice.
“Aw, well that’s too bad-oops!” her mother said as she had just dropped her fork.
As she bent down to pick up the fork, Iris ran out of the kitchen before her mother could see the mud on her dress and shoes.
“Now where did she run off to?” their mother asked.
Linda looked at the muddy tracks her sister left of the floor. “To get a mop.”

and what should i say instead of said after the mother says “aw,well that’s too bad-oops!”
thanks Zzzz. there r a lot of people that have different opinions about this one chapter. someone said they thought it was great when i first posted it and they said they were an author. someone else had the same opinion as u did. im not being sarcastic when i say “thanks”. now i know what to do with it in the future